January 15, 2009
A funny thing happened on the way to…
…global tolerance and understanding between cultures
So I was walking a long the street when I bumped into an African queen, with Irish eyes that were smiling.
I said, what you so happy about?
She said she was off home to eat some Spag bol and smoke some Moroccan, maybe sup on some Canadian Club and wait for her latin lover to drop by.
I said, what’s he like?
She said he wears Italian suits – he’s got a Mini Cooper like in the Italian Job, but he drives it like he’s in the French Connection.
“If I go for a drive with him, I need a shot of Polish vodka to gimme some Dutch courage,” she said.
That’s how you can drink and drive and get away with it, I said. We laughed.
By that time we’d walked along by the park where there’s a Jerry-built caff serving up German sausage in French bread, Cornish pasties, Devon cream teas – very cosmopolitan.
Woman running it’s a Russian Doll with an American Psycho for a husband, with their own version of the Cold War raging. Perfect working relationship? Scotch mist, more like.
Next door’s a newsagent. Y’know, Asian Babes on the top shelf, People’s Friend in the middle and the Daily Vitriol everywhere else.
I said to the geezer behind the counter: “Weather’s not great. I thought we were due for an Indian Summer?” He agreed.
Then we were onto politics and the new black. Barack, that is.
I’d previously thought the shopkeeper was a bit of a British Bulldog type, so he surprised me when he said:
“The leader of the free world’s a brown man; a mixed-race man for a mixed-up land.
“Ain’t it about time we realised that our cultures, genes and habits have been mixed up and interlinked from the very first time we bred like rabbits.”
I nodded as I took my change and felt somewhat relieved to find that hybrids are the best…if Darwin’s to be believed.

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