“Hello, hello, is there anybody there?
I’ve got an escalating situation involving big hair
There’s name-calling, a mob-forming…”
“Which service do you require?”
“It’s early on, but there’s intolerance talking.
People looking at my hair and laughing and pointing”
“Don’t worry caller, try to stay calm.
I’m going to press the Afro-Alarm”
In the face of hostility I bolster my fortitude
Thank heavens for that. They’re sending in Afro-Dude!
My hero. My hair hero.
An inspiring image of extreme curliness.
He grows tall haircuts in a single day,
that can withstand high windspeeds and still look wicked.
He fights the forces of flatness, lankness, limpness
With his superfly-pimpness.
Battling straighteners wherever he can.
He can shape-shift,
Camouflage his look through clever hair-topiary
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
No, it’s Afro-Dude!
Afro-Miraculous more like!
The man’s super-power characteristics and his
follicular gymnastics get anyone or thing out of a fix.
His HEAD-VELCRO can capture small, sticky things
His HEAD-CASE carries and conceals pencils and pens
His KNIT-HEAD keeps cold victims woolly in winter
His NEST-HEAD’s a home for mammals to burrow into
His PARTY-HEAD sees him blend into 70s nights seamlessly
With the ladies, he’s volumising. And so very kinky…
This is Afro-Dude!
My super hair hero. My hero.
My hero does exist in real life.
He lives inside of me and I call on him when required.
Which, I hope, is less and less as we ditch the shouty mentalness and grow the gentleness.
Coz name-calling just deepens the ridicule-pool, fool!
For protecting and serving diversity, you’d better show gratitude
In times of hair hostility, I’m sending in Afro-Dude.